Wife Lessons: sometimes you need more than a “Thank You”
D and I are, generally speaking, pretty polite people. We say our “pleases”, “excuse me’s”, and “thank you’s” regularly to everyone, including each other. But, today I was reminded that there is a big difference between saying “thank you” and really showing your appreciation for someone.
This morning I was thinking about dinner for tonight, since I knew we didn’t have much food in the house. Instead of leaving that problem until D got home and we ended up having to eat some of our questionably fresh leftovers, I decided that I would make our delicious slow cooker Red Beans and Rice recipe because we had everything on hand. I am not the chef in our relationship, so usually any time I am going to be involved in the cooking of anything, it is something that D knows about and is pre-planned (and occasionally I moan and complain about it).
So, when he called me on his way home from work today and said in a resigned tone, “OK, what are we going to do for dinner tonight?”, he was no doubt preparing for our typical I’m-super-indecisive-when-it-comes-to-picking-dinner-options-and-drive-D-crazy Ritual. Instead, I replied, “Red Beans and Rice will be ready when you get home.”
He was delighted. Like, completely thrilled.
And when he got home and we sat down to eat, he said, “Thank you so much for making dinner tonight. It was really delicious.” And then later after dinner he stopped me to say, “I want you to know I really appreciate that you have been cooking dinner lately. You are an awesome wife.”
D says “thank you” for stuff all the time, but taking the time to really express gratitude in words beyond “thank you” made me feel so much more appreciated. And it makes me want to do small things like making dinner without being asked because I know he appreciates it so much and I really love knowing that I have made him happy (I am a sucker for positive reenforcement).
When it comes to marriage and spending a lifetime together, it’s easy for things like “thanks” and “I love you” to become things you say just because it’s a habit. I hope that I can always remember to take the time every so often to really express my love and gratitude.