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If I had a celebrity husband… (and other ramblings)

December 1, 2010

A lot of folks I know have “their list”, their “top 5”, or in my case, their “Celebrity Husband(s)”.  When I talk to most women about who makes their “top 5”, I often hear about guys like this:

Nothing against Brad, Mc Dreamy, and McPlays-Bongos-Naked-Guy, they just aren’t my type.  There are many ways that I am different from many of the women I know, and one of them is that if I were to live in an alternate universe and get to marry a celebrity, hands down, this guy would be my choice:

How can you not love that ridiculous hair?

Oh Conan.  What is not to love when it comes to an insanely tall, skinny, gangly redhead?  OK.  Maybe for the average person, that’s not exactly a selling point, but I have always had a thing for redheads.  And tall redheads?  Be still my totally-unconventionally-attracted heart.

Sadly, I'm not *with* Coco

But let’s face it, that’s not the real appeal of Conan.  I have been watching Conan since I was about 10, when he first started on Late Night (so this is not a recent I’m-jumping-on-the-conan-bandwagon thing).  He is HILARIOUS.  And smart.  And Ridiculous.  And a little bit crazy.  All things that I enjoy and are pretty much the only non-negotiable qualities I ever had when I looked for a guy.  If you weren’t smart, interesting, and funny, we weren’t going to last long .

Funny story: I may have called my friend Jules after a date with an ex and said-
“Well, it’s over and I need to figure out how to break up with him.  We were at the Smithsonian Dinosaur exhibit and I asked, “If you were a dinosaur, what dinosaur would you be?”
And he looked at me like I was crazy for asking that (Hello?  I’m kinda crazy and ask crazy shit like that all the time) and then said, “A t-rex.”
And I said, “A t-rex?  Are you sure?” (subtext: way to pick the most boring and obvious choice).
And He said, “Yup.  They’re like, the king of dinosaurs.”
And Jules, knowing me so well, said “Oh, yeah, totally.”  (she gets me like that)
Obviously, that wasn’t the only reason that we were not well-matched, but this was the big “What am I doing with this guy?!” moment.  Plus, I think we have already established that I can be totally judgemental when it suits me (and when it is TOTALLY JUSTIFIED).

Yeah... this isn't going to work out

So, anyway, what is this post supposed to be about?  Right, back to Conan and funny people.  (God, I get so off topic (and am using an appalling amount to parenthesis in this post)– sorry).  So, yes.  Even though D is not an absurdly tall, gangly, redhead (I am tall and (fake) redheaded enough for the both of us), he IS hilarious, a little off the wall, and smart.  And that’s why we work.
And on another side note:  I want to make one of these:
And just for fun, here is my 2nd place Celebrity Husband:
Oh, Liam Neeson.  Oh, that accent.  (Although, in doing a google image search, it seems he may have gotten a facelift that looks a little scary… so maybe I’ll have to rethink this one)
And another funny (but totally inappropriate story):  When the lovely late Natasha Richardson, Liam’s real life wife, died, in a freak skiing accident, I *may* have gotten 1 or 2 texts to the effect of “Your celebrity husband is single now!”
What about you? Do you have a “List”, a “Top 5” or a “Celebrity Spouse”?  Do you have traits you always look for in friends or sig others?
ETA:  Speaking of Dinosaurs– Jules just sent me this:
6 Comments leave one →
  1. Julia permalink
    December 1, 2010 5:09 pm

    You’ve seen this, yes? He might just have to go on my list for his complete and utter understanding of dinosaurs.

    • December 1, 2010 5:17 pm

      That is amazing! Just added it to the post because it is that good.

  2. Jennifer permalink
    December 1, 2010 10:18 pm

    You may have to fight D’s and my cousin, Jan, for Liam 🙂

  3. Erin permalink
    December 4, 2010 10:59 pm

    Love it Kelly! You’ll have to fight me for Conan – or we can share him. After Conan, Sister Wives is my favorite show. 🙂

    • December 5, 2010 7:41 pm

      I am sure there is enough Conan to go around in the alternate universe where we get to meet and marry him


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