Laughter and Love- in which wedding planning led to a meltdown
So, we were getting married! D said he wanted to wait until after the new year to start planning so we would have time to enjoy “just being engaged”. I, resisting the urge to pull out a pad and make a to do list at that moment, said sure. But, the next day, I was freaking out and wanting to start planning RIGHT THEN because I am a compulsive planner and list maker (and of course as soon as you get engaged EVERYONE, from your co-workers, to your friends, to your mail lady, is asking you “Have you picked a date? How many people? Do you have a venue? What are your colors?”)
I was overwhelmed by all the choices and the prospect of paying for it all, so I had the first (of only 2) bridal meltdowns in the car driving home from my sister’s house the day after Christmas. I whined about how I NEEDED to start planning right now (waiting just another week ’til the new year would be torture! (dramatic much?)). And then I freaked out about how I had NO idea what I wanted, couldn’t we just elope? I don’t want to plan it. How are we going to pay for it?!
Needless to say, D was a little shocked by my outburst, assuming that I had our wedding already completely planned in my head. And while I had often thought about us getting married and really wanted to get engaged, I never really moved past that. I just wanted to be married. I never really had big opinions on the how or what it all had to look like, and I was seriously annoyed that he just expected that I would have the whole thing pre-packaged and ready to go. Also annoyed that I could NOT stop thinking about planning a wedding and stressing about it, and he didn’t really see what the big deal was.
Needless to say, after my freak-out, I felt ridiculous and realized I needed to calm the f down about the whole thing. And in the end, all it took was one question from one of my fabulous Bridesmaids the next day at lunch to solve my wedding planning unhappiness.
J asked me, “Well, when you think about your wedding, what do you picture?” and then suddenly, everything clicked in my mind and I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do.
I met D in the city for dinner that night. I stepped off the metro and said to him, “By the way, I planned the wedding today. I know exactly what we are going to do.” And surprisingly enough, our wedding ended up being almost exactly how how I pictured it at that moment.
Way to go J and your zen-master questions.